Puffs Legs’ Jokes

Q. Why did the Republican hit his chin on the bar?

A. Rush Limbo

Q. Who did the Wild Samoans like partying with most in the WWF?

A. Captain Luau Bano

Q. Why did the nut-case kill the pigeon?

A. Because it called him “Coo Coo”

Q. What is the most popular drink at all the inauguration parties?

A. Eggnog: The eggnoguration drink! 

Q. What did the kids at school used to call Willie Nelson when he was little?

A. Bill Nelson

Lewis could not wait for his birthday. It was only one week away and that meant he got his very own day named after him in Mrs. Rogers class. For instance, last week was Pamela’s birthday so all day long the kid’s referred to it as “Pamela Day”. Well today was his friend Danny’s birthday but Lewis could not take waiting any longer, it just felt like everyone else already had their big day and his would never come. So when it came time to have cake and icecream, Lewis threw his plate at Danny’s head. Mrs. Rogers stormed over and took Lewis aside and said, “You need to calm yourself down! Your day is next week! Today is Daniel Day Lewis!”

Q. What did the Doctor say when she walked into the rehab unit and found one of her patients laying on the floor with a big bump on his head?

A. No more junkies jumping on the bed!

Q. What is the most popular restaurant in Philly?

A. The Cheese Steak Factory

Q. What is the Fresh Prince’s favorite restaurant?

A. Yup, same place.

The Zohan and Love Guru walk into a bar. The bartender turns around and says,
“Oh come on, would you guys give it a rest?”

 

Peanut butter and Fluff walk into a grilled cheese bar. The bartender takes one look at them and says, “What are you guys nuts?” Peanut butter says, “Well, I used to be.” Fluff just looked at him really confused.

Q. What do you get when you cross Jimmy Neutron and Earl, from My Name is Earl?

 

 

A. Karma Electron

Q. What do the Golden Girls’ grandchildren call them?

A. Golden Grams

Q. What does Shaq do for breakfast when he’s running late for practice?

A. Shaquita banana

Shirley Temple and Roy Rogers walk into a bar. The bartender hands them a Shirley Temple and a Roy Rogers. Roy Rogers looks at the bartender like he’s gonna kill him. Shirley’s on her cell, totally unaware.

Ben Sayconkstagonk really did not have a good deal going with his name. Every time Ben would say his full name, the person or people would say back, “Conkstagonk!!” cause the first part of his last name say’s “Say.” The worst would be when he had to say his name in front of strangers. After he was asked to say his name “Sayconkstagonk” they would oddly pause and say back, “Conkstagonk??” and Ben would say, “no, that’s my name, Saygonkstagonk.” And the people, then anoyed would say back, “just did, Conkstagonk.” One time this happened and Ben said back, “Say Gangsta rap” The people were like, “what?”

Q. What did Austin Powers say the first time he saw his honey with her hair up?
 
A. Oh beehive!

Q. Why did they kick Donald Duck out of Disneyland?

A. They caught him doing quack.

Q. If   1 = 1%    &    2 = 20%    what does  “&”  equal?
 
A. Tampersand

Johnny McTippytoes was from Scotland and he loved to dance around the village. He alway’s danced on his toes and used to say things like, “Tippy tip tap!” Then one day Johnny met a young lady who was known for her ugly scary face. Everytime she told Johnny she was ugly and scary, he’d say, “Tippy tip tap!” and it would make her feel better. They got married and had one kid. Henry.