A minor crisis is always so much fun…
So I might quit school and come back to Boston. I’m trying to make a rational decision. This program would be great for, I dunno, maybe $5000; but $30,000? Holy crap! What was I thinking?
I’m not learning much in video production. The facilities aren’t great and our cameras are 5+ years old, though they’re ok. But dude…I could make a documentary at home. I could…I could…ugh…I hate to think I have tried and failed, although we all do that in life. Katie and I feel cheated; we didn’t know our famous director would be on sabbatical this year; that there’s only 3 staff members here; that there’s no help in getting internships or prep for real careers; this is all very troubling. We’ve been trying to stick it out. I made it through getting robbed, I love my new housemates, but…I have a day to decide whether to quit school; I can still pull the loan money out tomorrow.
Even if I didn’t go back to UUSC, maybe leaving here would be for the best. Not to mention I absolutely loathe Manchester. You can try to quell the perpetual sadness of just living here, but it’s so so hard. However, now that I’ve got a good home situation and I’ve been in classes a few weeks, I feel more apt to make a rational, well thought-out decision about staying or going. At least I didn’t pack up and give up when the first thing went wrong….I waited til 40 other things went wrong.
Katie and I met with our director to discuss. I ended up in tears, shockingly. I sat there, trying not to cry, choking on my own despair and anxiety, and I suddenly thought, dang. This isn’t me. What happened to me? I think I need to go home…
Man, who knows. I don’t think I’m gonna write in this blog anymore until I make a conclusive decision about what to do. If I decide to leave, I’m not going to announce it. I’m just gonna show up back in Boston or Philly or whatever and keep on keepin’ on. That’s how it goes, right? We certainly learn from every experience. This one’s been a whopper.