I am an American and I Eat Hot Dogs

2 x chili slaw dogs

We try very hard not to be wasteful. After the Masquerade show, we still had a half dozen hot dogs left. Luckily, our Econolodge had a mini-fridge, so we were able to keep these suckers refrigerated during the night. The next afternoon, as we blasted down to Tampa, we started feeling hungry. The hot dogs seemed like a prefect solution. We found a gas station with a microwave and threw a couple in. These guys were still real tasty, even on day two. They were a bit soggy, but it really wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. After Joe and I each slammed one of these, we went back in for seconds and heated up another pair. A quick and tasty treat. I definitely recommend having someone give you hot dogs in Atlanta and then reheating at some point during your drive to Tampa. It rules!

1 x chili slaw dog

OK, so the last few times we’ve been in Atlanta, we’ve gone to the Varsity, and we’ve finally realized that this is pretty much a mistake. So Crystal Rose steps in to save the day. She brought down not one, not two, but a solid DOZEN hot dogs to the show tonight. These dog’s, according to Crystal, were from the legendary Brandi’s World Famous Hotdogs (also known as “Betty’s World Famous Hotdogs”, which was the original name before Betty finally retired and her daughter, Brandi, took over… most people still call it “Betty’s”, though) in Cartersville, GA. She gave them to us packed on ice, and lucky for us, but there was a microwave upstairs. I gotta say, that a cold, damp, chili slaw dog is not the most appealing thing to hold in your hands. But once it was microwaved up, it went down pretty easy. It was definitely a tasty dog. The hot dog itself was almost an unearthly pink color, and that freaked us out a bit, but didn’t seem to stop anyone from finishing. One of the weird things about this approach is that the slaw ends up hot as well as everything else, and I think, traditionally, the slaw would provide a nice temperature counterbalance to the hots of the chili and the dog. Both the chili and the slaw were really well seasoned though and seemed to compliment each other nicely. We were all enjoying a good slow burn on this dog. I’d love to have one served at temperature and fresh. Yeah!

1 x JB’s polish sausage, with comeback sauce $4

Guest blogger: Phil Dickey from Someone Still Loves You, Boris Yeltsin.

When we drove into Athens , all I could think about was Michael Stipe and how hungry I felt all night. I ate a pretty big Lunchable at a gas station earlier and it didn’t do a damn thing for my stomach. I wasn’t hungry like a little rich kid. I was hungry like a giant man.

Lori and Marty are friends of Joe and Paul and they let us stay at their house. I walked into their living room and ate most of their appetizers. Lame and rude, I know, but nothing could stop me and I was still hungry. I think that’s when someone suggested walking down to JB’s Sausage Cart next to the 40 Watt. Yes, I thought inside my head. A rare night, you know, a night when imaginary thoughts collide with a real life setting. I was on a collision course with R.E.M. and a great dog.

My time at JB’s was pretty short and simple. I think that’s one reason why hot dogs are great. You can eat them standing up, watching sports, at a picnic, or anywhere, really. You don’t need a plate and you don’t need to sit around and wait for a bill. You’re ready for the next thing as soon as you take your last bite. That’s what it was like thinking about R.E.M., too. I though about Michael Stipe walking down that sidewalk a hundred times and that was it. It was over and I was standing up and ready to go to Florida .

When I ordered my sausage JB was singing Cupid draaaaw back the bow-oh. That was awesome. I got the comeback sauce, which was sweet and meaty. I like sweets and meats together. They balance each other out. I ate the sausage in less than 2 minutes and that was it. I wasn’t hungry anymore. I think I was spinning around in a slow circle while I ate the dog. All my friends were there and I liked watching everyone interact. I’m thinking about that satisfaction now and it makes me sad about that lunch I’m about to eat. 15 forgotten minutes bent over a boring table in a room Michael Stipe will never know. God, I miss JB’s Sausage Cart and I can’t wait to go back.

1 x grilled hot dog with raspberry pretzel mustard

We rolled into Cary to have a quick dinner with our uncle, his wife and their two little kids before heading to a show. I think maybe Uncle Joe forgot about this whole hot dog thing because he didn’t seem to be making much of an effort to impress. I think maybe these were cooked more for the kids than for me. Anyway, it was a simple supermarket dog on an ungrilled bun. He had the French’s out, so I dove into the fridge looking for alternatives. I nearly went for the Stubb’s BBQ sauce, but instead decided to try out this raspberry pretzel mustard. It was pretty uneventful. I felt like I was at a cookout in salt city USA. I know, I’m a hot dog snob, but seriously, these supermarket dogs are just way to freakin’ salty. Ugh.