I am an American and I Eat Hot Dogs

Good Dog/Bad Dog, Portland, OR

1/2 Garlic Dog, 1/2 Whiskey Dog, total = $9.70

I had noticed this place when I was in Portland last summer, but didn’t get a chance to try it out. It’s a pretty gourmet place right downtown on SW Adler. I ordered both the Whiskey Dog and the Garlic Dog, but neither of them turned out to be dogs. However, they did end up being very good sausages – and I don’t even like sausage all that much. There was a hot dog on the menu, but we didn’t get a chance to try it. According to the employees, the dogs are made by the owner, Tim, which would explain why the sausages were so nice and fresh and delicious. Next time, I will definitely have to get an actual dog, although there are some other menu options that look very enticing given how awesome these sausages were.

Aaron’s House, Milwaukee, WI

1 x Usinger wiener with grey poupon and kraut, 1/2 x Usingers 1/4 lb all beef frankfurter with grey poupon, reslish, and kraut

I was psyched to finally get a chance to try some Usingers products. I’ve had their website bookmarked for over 2 years and still hadn’t gotten around to ordering anything from them. So when I found myself in Milwaukee, our kind hosts brought us right down to the Usingers factory and we picked up some lunch. I got 4 wieners (they come linked together) and a package of 4 of their 1/4 lb all beef frankfurters. The total was about $6.70, so not a bad deal up front. We took them back to Aaron’s place and grilled them up (charcoal-style). Both dogs were very tasty. The all beef frankfurter was possibly the best I’d ever had. It was a monster, but it didn’t overpower you with flavor like the Fearless Franks. The spices were just right. The wieners were good to. Very mild. These are definitely some quality meat products that would serve you well at any barbeque.

Intonation Festival, Union Park, Chicago, IL

1 x dog with mustard and relish, $3.50

I always get totally pissed when I’m in Chicago and I have to deal with mediocre dogs. Sure, I was at a music festival. What should I expect, right? Anyway, these were probably Vienne Beef dogs, so I can’t complain there, but the condiment selection was pretty sparse. I would have settled for just a pickle! Whatever. The bands were good though. The Hold Steady and Les Savy Fav rocked everyone way hard. Tim Harrington pulled out a Slip n’ Slide during the LSF set. It was great.

Byron’s Hot Dog Haus, West Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL

2 dogs with everything, $2.10 each

So far, Byron’s is my favorite hot dog place in Chicago. I took the opportunity today to introduce Joe and Erika to a legitimate Chicago dog. Joe ignored my pleadings and got chili on his. Erika could not be convinced to get mustard on the dog despite me repeated warnings against disrupting her condiment harmony. Nevertheless, I enjoyed my two dogs immensely. We were all having a good time until our borrowed car failed to start. It was about 6:30 in the evening. Two jump starts failed to rally the battery, so I called AAA because we have this awesome gold coverage so that we can get towed up to 100 miles. It turned out to be not so awesome. We waited 7 (SEVEN) hours for a tow truck to show up. It was a total disaster and we didn’t get home until 4:30am. Fortunately, I’m not going to hold Byron accountable. His dogs are still good.