I am an American and I Eat Hot Dogs

Thursday, April 14th, 2005, Fenway Park (Red Sox vs. Yankees), Boston, MA

All right! First game of the year (for me)! First Fenway Frank of the year as well! I smothered that sucka with onions and relish and downed it before I could even get back up into the bleachers. This one tasted extra delicious as the Sox won 8-5, a bunch of dudes got ejected, and Sheffield nearly pulled a Ron Artest. It was a lovely night for baseball and a hot dog.

Sunday, April 3rd, 2005, Liz’s House, Medford, MA

The Hot Dog Consultants return to curate another Exton Birthday Bash! We came up with a whole slew of really interesting recipes for our clients to choose from, but they decided to go in a more conservative, but still tasty, direction. We made Margarita Dogs using kobe beef dogs from Savenors, and we made a spring/summer combo that was topped with grilled vegetables. Both dogs turned out extremely tasty and satisfied all in attendance.

Sunday, April 3rd, 2005, Nick’s House, Brookline, MA

One dog that was rejected by the Exton organizers was the Steroid Dog that we had created just for Opening Day 2005! Fortunately, Nick allowed us to be a little more progressive in helping with his opening day cookout. Behold, in a dramatic violation of company policy, I give you the Steroid Dog (property of the Hot Dog Consultants):

Ingredients:
“Flaxseed oil”
Power bar – apple cinnamon flavor
Anabolic Steroids and/or Apple juice
Andro and/or powdered sugar

Other:
Syringe and needle

Instructions:
Using the syringe, inject the hot dog with anabolic steroids. Injections from the two ends are more likely to remain inside the dog. Before grilling, rub the dog with “flaxseed oil.” Grill. When done, inject again with anabolic steroids. Alongside the dog, add a slice of Power Bar. Sprinkle andro on top.

Although I this may sounds unconventional, I will say that we served seven of these hot dogs at Nick’s house and every one of them got eaten and no one complained. Most comments were along the lines of “it’s better than I thought it would be.” I will go one step further and declare this dog to be fantastic! It ends up a little on the sweet side with the power bar and andro, but otherwise, it’s a total winner. We’re thinking of selling this one to Fenway.