I am an American and I Eat Hot Dogs

Saturday, March 26th, 2005, New England Hot Dog Company, Marblehead, MA

We (the Hot Dog Consultants) got invited up to New England Hot Dog Company on business. The owner, Larry, was looking for some expert insight into his new business venture, so he called up Georg and we arranged this meeting. Larry emailed us the night before and told us not to eat any solid foods after 3pm on the day before. We fell a bit short on that, but none of had breakfast before heading up to Marblehead.

We got there around 1:30pm and Larry sat us down and gave us index cards and told us to order whatever we wanted. Three hours, 18 hot dogs, 8 sodas, 3 ice creams, and 1 frappe later, we left the store. Georg dared John to eat 5 hot dogs and top it with a frappe. John won $5. It was triumphant.

Larry used to own Boston Hot Dog Company in Salem (see March 6th, 2004) and New England Hot Dog was pretty much more of the same. Lots of combinations, lots of condiments, lots of hot dogs to choose from. Just to give you an idea about what to expect, they pretty much serve only hot dogs (Boarshead mostly) and ice cream (Brighams). All of the specialty dogs are named, in a fairly arbitrary fashion, after towns in New England. I had a Cambridge Dog that I really enjoyed. I think it had sauerkraut AND relish on it, and I was very impressed by this combination. For me, it had always been one or the other, but now I’ll be putting them together all the time. I had a Truro Dog that failed to make an impression. I think maybe it had some weird cheese on it, but I can’t really remember. To be honest, this experience became a bit of a blur as Larry kept tossing food onto our table and it seems like we just opened our mouths and inhaled and 3 hours later we felt very full. I think I also had a Marblehead Dog, but without ketchup (that shit is for amateurs). I’m pretty sure it had baked beans and mustard on it, and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t all that impressed. For my last dog, I tried a Chicago-style dog (can’t recall the name) that was excellent. The kid working the counter put pepperoni on it instead of pepperoncini. Usually I’m not one to make much of a fuss, but there’s a very big difference between pepperoni and pepperoncini, and the pepperoni really looked quite ridiculous on this Chicago type. So I complained and got some pepperoncini and tossed the pepperoni. This dog was a real winner and it made me realize just how much I love having a pickle spear alongside my hot dog. I can’t wait to go back to Chicago this summer.

All in all, the trip was a fulfilling experience. Larry gave us a case of soda and a box of preserved meat products to take home and try at our leisure. I think there’s a pretty good chance that this will develop into a profitable relationship for both parties.

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005, my apartment, Somerville, MA

Another development session with the Consultants. Again, I can’t share much aside from a few ingredients. Think Camembert, jellied cranberry sauce, Moroccan lentils and jerk seasoning (not all on the same dog). It was a productive meeting. Andrew and I ate three dogs each and afterwards we felt like we had eaten three hot dogs each.

Monday, March 7th, 2005, Andrew’s House, Cambridge, MA

Hot Dog Consultants Meeting. We did some experimenting with beer, butter, bananas, and syringes. I can’t mention much more because it’s all proprietary information. Some hits and some misses. We’ll need to invest a bit more time in developing these creations.

Saturday, March 5th, 2005, Code 10, South End, Boston, MA

Another trip to Harrison, another hot dog at Code 10. Apparently all I ever do on Saturdays is go thrift shopping and eat hot dogs. Awesome.

I got a chili dog this time. 1/4 lb. Pearls all beef. The girl wasn’t really paying attention to me and she gave me a cheese dog. Blah. I gave the cheese to Erika and the unattentive girl hooked me up with a whole bunch of chili. I must say, this is a pretty good chili dog for being made in a yuppie store in the South End. Maybe even one of the best in Boston (because I can’t think of any other place around here that has really good chili dogs).

Also, I’m only two more purchases away from a free dog!