Capitán Hot Dog, Madrid, Spain

You can witness some truly amazing things traveling. Capitán Hot Dog certainly falls into that category. You see, Georg, Andrew and I were all hanging out in Spain, and, of course, we are always trying our hardest to absorb the local flavor. Cheap Spanish wine, cheap Spanish gin, cheap Spanish ice cream cones from McDonalds, you know the drill. But what of hot dogs? What does this fine country have to offer us in that oft-neglected area of cuisine? Our host, Janine, offered a suggestion-- she had "heard, from this guy she knew who was visiting, that there was this place in some area of town that had good hot dogs." That was enough for us. After lots of pointing at the map, Janine eventually resigned herself to the fact that she would actually have to accompany us on this search. We walked around Madrid for a long time, but eventually there came a joyous moment when we turned a corner, and Capitán Hot Dog turned from rumor to reality.

There are many wonderful things about Capitán Hot Dog. First and foremost is the vending machine-type obstacle that serves as both menu and cashier. You must select your hot dog from the pictures or based on descriptions that all seemed pretty much the same. Insert euros, press button, get change, get ticket. Next, on to the assembly. Capitán Hot Dog is a single-person operation. In fact, it merely an extravagant hot dog cart that is actually stationed indoors. You give your ticket to the woman behind the cart, and then she asks you (in Spanish) what you want on your hot dog. If you are like me, you say "con todo" which means "with everything." If you are like Georg, you point at the mayonnaise and say "no." Eventually your dog gets made, and you are left wondering what a hot dog cart is doing inside a building that has very accommodating backrooms for storing, um what?

I was hungry, so I had the Gigante. They were out of the Gigante buns apparently, so she cut my Gigante in half and made it into 2 hot dogs. That was pretty swell. Mustard, ketchup, and even mayo-- you only live once. It was topped with-- I think-- deep fried, thinly cut, crispy onions. It was pretty tasty and was certainly bad enough for your health that it would have no trouble finding success should it ever be promoted in our fine country. Capitán Hot Dog, I salute you.