HealSouth Rehab Clinic’s HOT DOG JAMBOREE, Braintree, MA

1 x footlong of unknown origin on a fresh white bun with chili and some yellow packet mustard, 0.5 x footlong with kraut and Grey Poupon packet mustard

This was pretty cool. My band, Harry and the Potters, got a phone call one day from this guy who was organizing this fundraiser event for the rehab clinic. He was all like, “Blah blah blah,” and I was like, “Uh huh, uh huh,” and then he says “and we’re going to have ALL YOU CAN EAT HOT DOGS,” and then I’m like “those are the magic words.” So we show up and eat some dogs. The dogs were pretty standard. They tasted like the lousy dogs you get at a neighbor’s cookout. The chili and the kraut were pretty lame too, although I was impressed with the Grey Poupon packets. The show was on the sucky side. We played after a “magician” who did absolutely no magic and was pretty insulting to the audience’s intelligence. Or maybe I’m just glorifying my own band trying to convince myself that we are high-brow entertainment for kids. Either way, no one seemed to care much what we were doing. I made up a song about how there are no hot dogs at Hogwarts. It went over real well. We got $100.